Getting Started

First things first.  You need to know who I am and why you are reading this.  My name is Heather Dubuisson and I joined Weight Watchers this week.  (Monday).  I have done this several times in the past and started off okay, but then fizzled out.  This blog is a personal attempt to motivate myself to continue the journey beyond the first few weeks and actually change my life. 

What you read will sometimes be deeply personal.  I figure that there are things in my past that have caused me to weight 308 pounds.  (Yes, that's actually what I weighed on Monday when I signed on the dotted line and committed myself financially to three months of weight watchers.)  Some of it may shock you, some of it may disgust you, some of it you may not like, and some of it will be DEEPLY personal to some that may read this.  Be warned.  Please do not take anything that I write in the wrong way.  Everyone that I may write about has been a part of my journey, and for the most part, I like what I have become.  I would love for anyone who reads this to offer feedback and motivation as it is going to take an army to change me into the person that I know I can become. 

For those of you who say "Why are you posting all this?  Is is just to get attention?"  Let me answer that by saying a resounding "NO!"  I am doing this to chronical my journey so that hopefully one day I can look back on it, see where I came from, and learn that I never want to be in this place again.  I used to write alot.  (I actually attended The Alabama School of Fine Arts for creative writing) so I'm hoping that just the act of writing it all down will be theraputic for me. 

A little bit about me...
I am an Alabama native that moved to Diamondhead, MS in 2002.  I lived the first part of my life in Houston, TX, moved to Birmingham when I was 7, and stayed there until college when I attended Mississippi State University in Starkville, MS.  Now keep in mind that when I moved to Birmingham, I though that I lived in the country.  Imagine what Starkville seemed like.  I stayed in Starkville for two years (more on that another day) before I moved home.  How did I end up in Diamondhead, MS you ask?  Did I just love the small town feel?  NO WAY!  I hate it actually, but I met Herbert Dubuisson who was a BAY BOY and there was no way he was moving.  Long story short, we ended up together after a rocky road, and I moved down here to get married. 
After I moved home from college I started working with Clarins Skin Care, and what do you know, I have a knack for make-up.  I continued to work with them, and started freelancing as a make-up artist.  Of course as a 21 year old who doesn't have a very good head for business and no idea what she wants to do with her life, I switched from job to job, became VERY broke, ended up moving back in with my parents, and was working at Sears selling jewelery.  As someone who had been in the gifted program, with an IQ of over 130, needless to say, this was very disappointing.  It was at that time that I moved to the coast, and started working back in the make-up game with Chanel.  That is, until I wanted to get married.  I missed a lot of time because of the 14 engagement parties that we had, and needed 2 more weeks off for the wedding and honeymoon.  It didn't work out, so out the door I went.  I started then working for a Real Estate Atty, doing some secretarial stuff.  But, we were friends with he and his wife, so I would help her plan the client parties, etc. and eventually became his Director of Marketing.  I was good at this.  Finally something that I really liked to do, that paid okay, that I could be proud of.  I worked there for almost 2 years when I decided that I would join Herbert and his family and sell Real Estate.  That was in May of 2005.  Herbert's dad was the manager, his mom was his business partner, and Herbert was the hot-shot of the office.  He was always top lister/top seller.  Because of that, and the great real estate market, we were living a BIG life!  Weekends away, Louis Vuitton, big jewelery, fancy restaurants, nice vacations, spa services, you name it, if we wanted it, we had it pretty much.  Now, it's at this point that there are several things you need to know.  First of all, I couldn't have asked for better in-laws.  I love/d them dearly, and considered them an important part of my life.  Herbert was his mom's best friend, and she was his.  They talked all the time, worked together, shared an office, and basically lived for each other.   Now, I'm not going to say this was easy, because as a somewhat newlywed, it was a little overwhelming to have to share your husband that much.  But, she knew her place, and for the most part, just loved from the sideline when it came to our marriage.  The second thing you need to know is that she was sick.  She had kidney failure (diagnosed shortly before we were married * theres another story to go along with that too) and passed away on August 7th, 2005. 
August was probably the worst month of my life.  With Ms. Patsy passing, Herbert and his dad were both lost puppies.  She was such a big part of both of their lives.  She and Mr. Herb had a wonderful marriage of 38 years.  So, Herbert asked me to re-decorate his office so that he could focus on the future.  We put ALL of our Mississippi State stuff in it... the music box that played the fight song that his college roomate had given him for our wedding, the painting of the campus that had been his dad's, the "Dawg Bone" that I had gotten at freshman orientation, and so much more.  But, a week later, Katrina hit.  Now, I am not one to talk about this storm.  I think that it's almost 6 years later, and people should move on.  I am simply giving reference to the events that have put me where I am today.  Herbert's dad's house had 4' of water in it, (not livable), his grandmother's house was swept clean to the slab, our office had 9' of water in it, (My car was parked at our office, so I lost that), and our house lost the back part of the roof, so we had water in it that way. 
After Katrina, Herbert's grandmother and dad moved in with us as we were the only ones with a house that you could live in.  We turned our dining room into the office with contracts, folders, files, paperwork, etc everywhere.  We had no floor, and were literally walking on a slab, but at least we had a house.  This went on for a couple of months.  After that, we moved into a small office and Coldwell Banker National send a mobile trailer that we parked outside the main building for additional space.  Keep in mind, we had over 20 agents at this point.  So, reference check.  Herbert's house that he grew up in was gone, his office that we had just re-done was gone, his grandmother's house was gone, and worst of all, his mom was gone. During this time, we were working together still.  Our desks were 1.5 feet apart where as before we had a couple of rooms between us, so we didn't have to see each other at work if we didn't want to.  I was working with his dad on a condo project that had been proposed and started prior to Katrina, and I was doing all of his marketing/client communication also.  So, I'm a foot and a half from my husband who is eternally pissed off, and working for my father-in-law (Who, don't get me wrong, was one of the best people to work for ever, and I'm not just saying that because he might read this.  He's patient, caring, and had the abilty to pull the best out in people.  He's one that doesn't say much, so that when he does, you listen.)  But, enough was enough, and I decided that it was time to do something for me.  After lots of wondering what I was going to do, looking for marketing jobs with no success, I decided that my favorite place to be was in a salon (I spent a lot of time there pampering myself, remember?) so I talked to my old boss's wife who had run a successful salon for 20+ years and decided that it was something I would love to do.  Gut check time though... remember what I told you about being disappointed in myself?  I always thought that hairstylists were people who didn't have any real potential, and the make-up thing was fun, but not going to be a career.  I had always wanted to be an attorney or psychologist, but it didn't happen.  So, here I was enrolling in the Paul Mitchell school at 27 with a bunch of 18 year olds that I have NOTHING in common with.  They are going out partying every night, coming to school hung-over with their fake Louis Vuitton bags, and here I am coming home to my husband, broke off of my butt because the real estate market just dived, and that condo project I was working on tanked.  I am thinking "I can't believe that I am doing this.  All I want to do is own a salon, but I know that I need to know how to do everything to make sure it's being done right.  So, I had planned to get licensed, cut hair for a few years (I can't believe that I would have to lower myself to that, but it's necessary), and then I am going to open this WONDERFUL day spa that everyone in town will flock to, and I will be a happy millionheiress just like Deborah Stone.  As my old preacher would say, "OH HA!".  So I get licensed, cut hair for a few years, figure out that I'm really good at it, open a WONDERFUL day spa, my clients keep coming, I have two employees that don't want to work, one that will work, but doesn't market herself, and one that is kicking ass, but only paying rent, so I'm broke as a joke again, and struggling.  The two employees leave, the rent girl opens her own shop, I can't pay rent for a couple of months, I set the business up incorrectly and now owe THOUSANDS in taxes, am so stressed out that my hair is falling out, and FINALLY decide to close.  Do the math, I have one employee left, who at this point feels like family, and she won't talk to me.  I get 7 offers within the first two days to come work at different salons because, let's me honest, I am REALLY good at cutting hair, and I get a slap in the face... sometimes you have to humble yourself to see your full potential.  I have FINALLY accepted that my true hightest and best is making people feel good about themselves, and look AMAZING!  I am so lucky that I have found something that I love, and am really good at.  Now, I am in a shop where I am the one on rent, I have lost some clients because of moving around, but I am happy, am responsible only to myself, and finally content with my professional life.  I still owe everyone in the world though because I am trying to be a good person and not file bankruptcy. 
Whew, that was a lot to say. 
I feel like that's a lot to read, but there's so much more story to tell.  I may write some more later, but for now, that's a good start.  At least you know a little bit about me, and how I came to find my passion, and in discovering who I was meant to be decided that it's time to live to my full potential.  I don't have a business to work on or worry about any more.  Herbert is happy again.  His business is picking up.  It's time for the excuses to be over and really focus on what I have let myself become. 
Again, this journey is not going to be eaasy.  If you choose to come with me, please do it with an open heart and understanding.  If not, I'll see you at the finish line.